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I recently heard a song called Drowning by Chris Young that made me think about my friend that I lost three years ago. I also talked to a few coworkers about him and one of them said that if I wanted to write about him this year, I’d find the time. I haven’t really written in a while and there’s multiple reasons for that. I have a new job and I’m working on my novel. Between that and trying to relax I haven’t made the time. In the last year, there have been a lot of deaths around me and…

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Trying to plan a wedding is hard enough, without a virus in the way. Once we started hearing things about this virus and the stay at home order went into place, and got extended through April, we started to think about postponing our end of May wedding. When they kept extending it, we finally decided that it would be best for everyone if we postponed. We also had a lot of people telling us that they wouldn’t be able to make it because of the virus. Of course, those people were people we really wanted to have there with us…

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I’ve been thinking about babies a lot recently. Whether I want them or don’t. I still haven’t come to a decision, but it’s gotten me thinking. One of the reasons I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately is because I have family and friends that are looking at me like okay any time now, it’s your turn to have babies. No, it’s really not. Just because I’m married now doesn’t mean I’m going to start popping out kids immediately. It’s not the 50’s anymore. I’ve also never been one to have that motherly instinct. Although, in my friend groups…

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It’s weird the random things you remember after someone has passed away. For example, whenever I thought about Stitch I would originally think about my husband, since he does such an amazing Stitch impression. Now, Stitch makes me think of Melissa, one of my college friends who passed away recently. She was all about all things Stitch and Marvel. Even though it’s been about six or seven years since we last saw each other and a year since we last talked, I remember those little things about her. It helps that other people are bringing them up in their posts.

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There are novels that were published in the 70s and 80s that are still held with such high esteem for young adults today. Judy Blume’s Forever is one of those novels. Honestly, I don’t think it should be. If anything, it should be used to start a conversation. Although, there are parts of it that are ahead of its time, there are others that need to be talked about. The way Blume goes about the relationship between Katherine and Michael leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Michael’s best friend, Artie, is unsure of his sexuality throughout the book, and…

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Wow. I can’t believe it’s been two years already. Two whole years without you. Life has changed a lot without you in it. I got married, which is still crazy to think about in some ways, but I’m happy. You’d be proud of me, I hope. I’ve gotten better about communicating, at least a little bit. I know we had talked about that before. I just wish you were here. I know you and Katie would have a ball planning my bachelorette party. And you wouldn’t have been one of my bridesmaids, but you would have been there for it…

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Sometimes when things are hard it’s easy to focus on all the things that have bothered you in the past. They’re even enough to get you to question things in your relationship. Then they do something that reminds you how much you love them, whether it’s a smile or making you breakfast in bed. It just goes to show you that no matter how hard things are, there’s still room for love. The world might be a complete disaster right now, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t find the love underneath it all.

My fiancé starts randomly singing sometimes…

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Our Valentine’s day celebration was perfect, we went to the hot tub gardens in Ann Arbor, dinner, and a movie. Unfortunately, going to Ann Arbor always leads to weird, conflicted feelings for me. First of all it makes me think of my ex, which isn’t really what you want to think about when you’re trying to celebrate Valentine’s day. It also made me think of one of my best friends who took his own life. It didn’t really hit me until we were on our way to dinner after the hot tub gardens, and even then it didn’t actually hit…

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I know I wrote an article last year around this time about this topic, but here we are again. I thought I would be better this year, but same old me. I’ve been stressing out about a lot of things lately. I always stress myself out about what to get everyone for Christmas, and now that I have a new family to shop for it piles up. I’m only getting two people something this year, but I would have liked to have done more. We’re doing a white elephant like we did last year, but I’d still love to be…

Photo by Taylor Smith on Unsplash

I went to the doctors recently, nothing’s wrong just my annual physical, and turns out I’ve gained weight. I know I just wrote an article recently about how I’m beautiful and all that, but it doesn’t always feel that way. Yeah sure sometimes I think my face is pretty, but I don’t always feel okay with how the rest of me looks. Sometimes I feel confident in the way my breasts look or my curves, at least under clothes. Get me naked and all of that melts away. I feel like I’m that teenage girl looking in the mirror wanting…

Laura Samuels

Former English major and college graduate from Michigan who’s trying to make her way in the world.

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